Kyou In His True Form uncut version
by Akitoa.k.a.Kito
Summary: The real story of when Kyou transformed. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

Introduction says, " This is the uncut version of the episode when Kyou turns into his true cat-form.

I apologize for two names in the series. It's a weird, little story, but I hope that you read and review! I would like to hear your opinion, but let me warn you, it is weird (not too weird, just a little)

I liked making the parody of the Valentine's Day episode so much (it's called "The Valentines Presents Are All Gone"), I wanted to do another one! So please read this seemingly long fanfiction, and I look forward to any reviews. Thanks for your time!

**August 17, 2005**: Okee-dokee, I finally found this fanfiction in a stash full of other stories I never posted up. This fanfic was knocked off of the site because of script, but I changed the script to story. Sorry for those of you who liked it that it wasn't there anymore.

If you want the second chapter, I've got it ready (more like I found it in my computer folder), just say it in a review.

Oh yeah, and ignore the names part in the Introduction. I know them now, but I didn't make the corrections yet.

Kyou's bracelet is taken off.

Kyou yells, " Don't look!

Tohru covering her eyes. " I'm not, but tell me when to open my eyes.

Kyou yells, " Don't look at me!

Tohru asks, " When do I open my eyes?

Adult that took off Kyou's bracelet (I don't know his name, but I know he taught the kids martial arts) says, " Open your eyes.

Tohru starts to uncover.

Kyou yells, " NO!

Tohru closes them. " What then? When?

Adult yells, " Hey! I need her to see. Open them.

Tohru opens them.

Tohru asks, " Where's Kyou?

Adult answers, " There.

Tohru asks, " Where?

Adult says, " In front of you, you damn idiot.

Tohru says, " Oh! I see him. His body kinda blends in with the trees cause his skin is green….ahhh! It's green! Does he have leprosy?

Adult (cannot believe what he's hearing) asks, " Don't you get it?

Tohru says, " Spell it out for me.

Kyou is kind of confused at their conversation.

Adult says, " He turned into this monster!

Tohru says, " Oh. I'm…sorry?

Kyou runs away.

Akito crazily drives the limo up to Tohru.

Tohru asks, " A limo?

Adult asks, " How come it's not stopping?

Limo about to crash into Tohru.

Tohru yells. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I GONNA DIE!

Tohru runs away from car path and into the forest.

Adult says, " You idiot! She was going to accept him for who he is.

Akito says, " Exactly. Now, I'll have to find her to talk her out of this.

Drives away.

Adult (thought) says, " I will stand out in the rain to make everything look dramatic when Tohru comes back with Kyou as a cat in her arms!

Stands there.

Tohru's foot gets stuck in tree. She is crying from joy of escaping the car's rage, but sad because her foot is stuck.

Akito comes out of car.

Akito says, " Poor, Tohru. Maybe you should leave the estate. Kyou looked so ugly.

Tohru sees Akito and starts to get hysterical because he was the driver.

Akito says, " I think you should leave forever. Maybe, it's better for both of us if you left, because…you know…I am your father.

Tohru says, " Really?

Akito says, " Yes! HAHAHA! And just like Star Wars! (takes out lightsaber and tries to strike Tohru's foot)

Tohru says, " AHHHHHHHH! I'M GONNA DIE AGAIN!

Shigure says, " Akito!

Akito puts down his lightsaber.

Shigure says, " That's my lightsaber.

Akito says, " I know.

Shigure takes out a lightsaber.

Shigure says, " begun, the battle has.

Akito says, " Right you are!

(lightsaber fight)

Shigure says, " I'll use the force! (sends trees to hit Akito)

Akito says, " I've got the force too! (sends Shigure flying backwards.)

(continues to fight until….)

Shigure says, " Stalemate, we shall call it.

Akito says, " Aww. Too bad. You also made my clothes all wet.

Akito walks to car.

Shigure says, " Tohru! Please, don't give up on Kyou. Tohru?

Tohru left to walk to graveyard.

Uo says, " Tohru! Are you okay?

Tohru says, " Yes, but my foot kind of hurts.

Uo says, " Oh. That's it? Good. I want you to play Rich Man, Poor Man with us!

Tohru looks at Uo in surprise.

Uo says, " Come on. Play with us.

Tohru says, " I can't. I have to find Kyou.

Uo says, " You'll do as we say, now get up!

Electric Wave girl (I can't remember her name right now) says, " NO, Uo. She has to do it herself. You can't force her.

Uo says, " I will force her!

Electric says, " No, stop. (stops Uo.)

Tohru limps out of graveyard.

Uo says, " Good job, now there's no one to play with us.

Adult (thought) says, " Any time now…any time….

(in room)

Kagura says, " Go after Kyou, Yuki. Aren't you going to help?

Yuki says, " No. Quite frankly, I don't care.

Kagura says, " I bet you $50 that Tohru gets to him before you.

(Yuki speeds out the room)

Kyou (thought) says, " What's for dinner?

Tohru says, " Kyou!

Kyou says, " roar roar roar.

Kyou (thought) says, " That's right! I can't speak human language! HAHA! Why am I laughing?

Yuki enters.

Tohru (thought) says, " I have to make this dramatic to make Yuki feel bad about this situation.

Tohru touches Kyou's arm says, " I know that you look scary, but I still want to be with you.

Tohru (thought) says, " That's it Tohru Honda! Let them suck it all up! Wait. Why am I making it dramatic again? Oh yes. To make Yuki feel bad.

Tohru says, " I still want to be with you…that's why I want to be with you.

Tohru (thought) says, " Am I using circular logic? It doesn't matter. The rain makes my small, fake tears seem huge! Muahaha!

Yuki (thought) says, " Is Tohru laughing inside? And how did her tears get so big!

Kyou turns into human again.

Kyou says, " I never thought anyone would say that to me before.

(hugs Tohru)

Yuki tries to join in.

Kyou literally barks at him.

Tohru produces real tears.

Kyou says, " Why are you crying, Tohru? Were you touched by my words?

Tohru says, " You were squishing me too hard.

Kyou says, " I'm sorry. (turns into cat.)

Tohru says, " let's go back home.

Yuki says, " I second that!

Walks into the house through the front door.

Tohru looks out the window.

Tohru says, " Why is that man still outside?

Yuki says, " Oh! I think he's waiting for you! You better go down there and recreate the moment.

Tohru says, " But we came back to the house three hours ago!

Yuki says, " Do it anyways!

Tohru and Kyou (as cat) goes out front, sneaks into the forest…

Tohru (quickly) says, " Wow. I never knew your forest was enchanted! I see a unicorn!

Kyou says, " that's just a deer with a fake unicorn horn on its head. I think Akito was attempting to make a fairy utopia in this forest.

…then to the back door.

Tohru magnificently holding the cat with the wind blowing the precise moments to make it look dramatic (Yuki was controlling a powerful fan to produce the wind blowing through her hair at the right moments). Then there was the sunlight that captured it all.

Adult kneels in approval and praise.

Adult (thought while crying) says, " I can finally go back inside the house! Oh, I love soap operas, but must not let anyone else find out about it.

Wind stops. Fan breaks and catches on fire.

Yuki says, " Ah! The fire! (tries to blow it out, but it gets bigger.)

Kagura says, " Oh, great job! (she takes her backpack of the cat and throws it into the fire) Burn, Kyou effigy! Burn!

Yuki says, " I thought you liked Kyou.

Kagura says, " I love him, but yet (shakes fist) sometimes I loathe him!

Yuki is freaked out.

Yuki goes outside to Tohru.

Yuki says, " The fan broke. I think we need to borrow some money from the main house to buy a new one. Can you ask for more money?

Tohru says, " sure.

Tohru goes to Shigure.

Tohru says, " Shigure, could I see Akito tomorrow?

Shigure says, " I'm not so sure. I need you to clean the house.

Tohru says, " Please?

Shigure says, " oh, alright! Us girls will always agree with each other.

Yuki says, " Us girls?

Shigure says, " yeah.

Everyone is very freaked out now.

Thanks for reading. Hope you review. Thanx.


	2. Tohru's visit

**May 29, 2005**: Why not make a whole parody on the whole Fruits Basket series? No, I'm not that crazy. Or am I? Hmm…

**September 2, 2005** It used to be in script form, so ignore the "said, " " and replace them in your mind with colons. It is too much tedious work to re-edit the whole thing.

This is about Tohru's visit to Akito's house. Another parody.

Hope you read and review! Thanks, and extra thanks to reviewers.

Shigure, tohru, hatori, and yuki go to Akito's house.

Akito said, " why have you come to visit me?

Tohru (thought) said, " I can't ask him for more money directly! We already asked to borrow a ton of money for repairing the walls!

Tohru said, " I don't know.

Akito walks to Tohru.

Akito said, " So, if you don't know what you want to say, then just leave.

Tohru said, " No, I…I…well, Shigure (Shigure turns pale white) wanted to know if he could borrow some….money.

Akito said, " Shigure is right here. Why doesn't he tell me this?

Tohru said, " I don't know.

Akito said, " Well! I don't want to give you money. Take a loan from the bank.

Tohru said, " But I…we—

Akito said, " Go! I don't care…wait one moment. I need to feed my fish.

Walks to fish tank and takes can of fish pellets.

Akito said, " You would want this fish pellet don't you! Oooh! The precious fish pellet! Well, you won't be having any today you skinny, good for nothing fish! (confused why he does this? See "Valentine's Presents All Gone")

Fish starts to cry.

Akito eats the fish pellet.

Akito said, " hahahaha!

Hatori said, " Akito, don't laugh while eating! You'll choke.

Akito said, " Don't say such nonsense!

Fish jumps out of the fish tank (the cover for the tank is open) and bites Akito's arm.

Akito said, " Oww!

Akito grabs fish with his teeth and throws fish. Fish lands on Tohru's head.

Tohru said, " Ew! (trying to get fish out, but fish still alive. Fish's teeth bite onto Tohru's hair)

Tohru said, " Ahhh! It's stuck!

Akito said, " That fish isn't going to get away with this!

Akito goes to Touru and take hair and starts to pull.

Tohru said, " Ow. Ow. Ow.

Shigure and Yuki said, " We'll help! (holds onto Akito) Pull! Pull!

Tohru said, " Ow. Ow.

Akito said, " (talks to fish) You know precisely why you're here! You're here to ruin our lives! That's why I taunt you everyday!

Hatori doesn't move because he is experiencing his first stroke.

Shigure said, " Akito, if you have too much stress, you'll die.

Tohru said, " And when you die, we'll miss you taunting the fish everyday! We love to watch that!

Akito said, " you mean, you like the fish taunting? You'll actually miss me doing it?

Tohru said, " yes!

Fish dies.

Everyone lets go.

Fish falls to ground.

Akito backs away, edging closer to the bird bath.

Tohru said, " Akito, are you touched by my beautiful words?

Akito very silent.

White bird drinking water looks up, then drinks some more until…

Akito said, " I GOT YOU! YOU STUPID WHITE BIRD! HAHAHAHAHA!

Bird chirps in Akito's grasp.

Hatori experiencing heart attacks and stroke.

Bird dies and Akito throws it in the air and out the door.

Akito said, " Now, what were you saying Tohru?

Tohru said, " Never mind.

Hatori's heart attacks and stroke stops, but replaced with paralysis.

Tohru said, " Well, we'll be off.

Akito said, " Wait. I have something for you for Christmas.

Tohru said, " What are you talking –

Yuki (whispers) said, " Just take the damn present.

Tohru said, " Okay.

Akito said, " Here.

Tohru said, " Is this a bag of –

Akito said, " Goodbye! Take leave! Let me dwell in my loneliness.

Tohru said, " Oh! You're lonely? Well, why don't we share this bag of –

Akito said, " No! Just go! Open your present at home.

Tohru said, " But I know what it –

Akito said, " I SAID GOODBYE DAMN IT!

Tohru said, " Okay! Goodbye!

Hatori is out of his state of paralysis.

Hatori said, " Let's go.

(outside)

Hatori said, " What's in the bag?

Tohru said, " It's a 'present' from Akito. Apparently, it's a bag of garbage.

Hatori said, " that's what he gives everyone on Christmas. We know by now not to open it and just dump it in the garbage, where it belongs.

Kyou said, " I got a bag full of old newspapers.

Yuki said, " I got a bag full of garbage bags.

Shigure said, " Am I the only one who received a bag of dead birds?

Hatori said, " For Christmas, I would give him marijuana. Now, he's addicted. He's not dwelling in misery. He's dwelling in marijuana junk.

Kyou said, " I'm starving, Tohru. Give me leftovers or something. I don't care.

Tohru said, " Okay, Kyou. But the only leftovers are the burnt muffins from Shigure.

Ayame said, " Oh my! What a long time since I've seen you all!

Akito said, " AYAME! (aiming a cannon at him at the top of a tower that suddenly appeared.)

Ayame said, " Oh dear Lord!

Akito said, " I told you never to come here! You're not going to take my marijuana!

Ayame said, " But Akito….you look so beautiful.

Hatori said, " Ayame, that won't work.

Akito said, " Die!

Shigure said, " Everyone, RUN!

Everyone runs but Ayame.

Nurse/Kana said, " We've got an intruder on our radar screen.

Akito said, " Roger that.

Nurse/Kana said, " Cannonball one, ready. FIRE!

Akito said, " Got it! (SHOOO…)

Ayame said, " Give me a hug!

Cannon ball goes straight into arms.

Ayame said, " Oh, Akito, you feel so warm! (opens eyes) Huh?

Akito said, " This mother----- won't die.

Nurse said, " We've got to plan another strategy.

Akito (smokes marijuana) said, " Yeah.

Nurse (smokes marijuana) said, " Bring out the birds.

Akito said, " I've got the normal birds, but I've got…THE HULK bird.

Nurse&Akito said, " RELEASE THE HULK!

Bird that is deformed. It's bigger than a human. One eye bigger than the other, wings that have hands at the end, and it can speak!

Bird said, " I will kill!

Ayame said, " Oh my!

Bird said, " I will kill!

Nurse said, " I thought he knew how to speak.

Akito said, " You're thinking about my parrot. Isn't that right, you idiot?

Parrot said, " Crawk! That's right, Akito. That's right, Akito.

Akito said, " You want to kill Ayame, right?

Parrot said, " That's right, Akito. That's right, Akito.

Akito said, " Now, we just watch.

Bird's eyes grow red with vain said, " Kill! Kill! (punches its two fists together) Grrr!

Ayame said, " Gulp.

Akito said, " I'll fire the tranquiziler! (shoot)

Ayame said, " I'll have to take it down mys—what!

Tranquilizer hits the bird, and bird falls down sideways.

Nurse said, " Akito!

Akito said, " Don't worry about it! We've got the HULK!

Nurse said, " But the HULK is down!

Akito said, " I've got the One-eyed worm!

Nurse said, " You mean Hatori?

Akito said, " No. I've got a one-eyed worm! Send out the worm!

Door opens.

Light shines.

Heroic music plays.

Ayame said, " I can't see! It's too bright!

A worm comes out of the open doors.

Ayame said, " I'm blind!

Akito said, " worm, attack!

Ayame said, " What worm? (squish!)

Akito said, " Worm?

Earphone the worm had said, " Worm? Worm!

Akito said, " Oh no! (starts to pray) In the name of the Father, the Son, --

Nurse said, " Oh, stop! The worm had no chance!

Ayame said, " Where am I?

Nurse said, " Ah! How'd Ayame find his way through the trap doors, the poisonous darts, the cage full of lions, up the stairs to this very room?

Ayame said, " Trap doors? Darts? Ahh! (turns around, trips over the staircase, fell in cage of darts)

Darts shoot at him.

Ayame runs blindly, and all of them miss except for one that hit is butt.

Ayame said, " Ah!

Darts (from Yugioh) said, " Ayame! You will be perfect for the Great Leviathan!

Akito said, " Shut up, Darts!

Darts gasp.

Akito said, " Go to hell! (aims a big rifle!)

Darts said, " Ah! (Runs through door that leads to room full of lions.)

ROAR!

Darts said, " Oh! This is soooo painful!

Nurse takes out dart from Ayame's butt.

Nurse said, " Does that feel better?

Ayame said, " I felt sharp pain at one point, but then all the pain is gone. I can't move my legs.

Akito said, " I think he received a dart full of paralysis.

Ayame said, " What!

Nurse said, " He means a dart full of…sharing-ness.

Ayame said, " I love to share.

Akito said, " Let's go home.

Nurse said, " We are home.

Akito said, " Sure we are…

Nurse is confused.

Akito's on crack.

Ayame is happy about the sharing-ness dart.

Darts become Tarzan and swings in the trees with a family of apes and lions, lions and hyenas….Lions and hyenas that join to become one family in this great…circle of Life.

(short afterward)

Akito said, " Why do we always hunt deer, Shigure?

Shigure said, " Think of it like this, Akito. When we die, our bodies become grass, and the antelope eat the grass. Thus, we are all in the circle of Life.

Akito said, " But we're talking about deer, not antelope.

Shigure said, " (sweatdrop) Uh…Oh look, Akito! A unicorn!

Akito said, " Ooh! Let me take a picture. (takes picture) Now, let me shoot it so that I would live eternally!

Shigure said, " gulp! Ah, (lowers Akito's gun) maybe not. We all wouldn't want that would we? Ha ha ha! Now, come bask in my masculine arms.

Akito said, " Okay.

I think the parody ended when Akito started to try and kill Ayame, but other than that, the question is…how'd you like it? Was it funny? Was it as boring as hell? And the most common one I get, was it weird? After I read it myself, I'd have to agree on that. Tell me what you think in a thing called a review… I'd appreciate your opinion.

A quote I heard from a commercial 8 millennia ago (yeah, I'm that old, muahaha!): "Thank you for coming. We appreciate your money."

Oh yes, (sorry this is so long, but) I tend to link all my stories together for some reason. Please don't mind those "see ch. of "this story". I'll end with a smile . You end with a review.


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